Answer:
Talking To Parents
Talking to a parent about mental health can be scary for a number of reasons.
Many people report being afraid to tell their parents because they do not want to upset them. Sometimes we don’t understand where troubling feelings or thoughts are coming from and feel guilty for having them. A good question to ask yourself in this situation is how would you feel if someone you love were suffering and came to you? Likely, you would be upset that they were struggling, but you would not be upset with them. You would be glad they confided in you and ready to help them in any way you could.
Here are some of the most common concerns people give for not talking to their parents and some tips for overcoming them.
"I don't know how my parents will react."
Talking can be scary, but the help available is worth it. The sooner you address things, the sooner you can feel better and the better you will be in the long-run. If you are concerned about how your parents will respond, one option is to schedule a meeting with both of them or with one parent at a time. Instead of a sudden, potentially unexpected conversation, choose a time and place where you are comfortable and plan what you want to say beforehand. You can plan by researching information online, taking a mental health screening and printing the results, or just by writing out a script for what you’d like to say.
On that note, you could also write a letter if you are not as comfortable with a conversation. A letter allows you to express exactly what you want to say without the pressure of an immediate response. Check out our sample letter on page 2. Remember, even if it seems scary or if your family never discusses these things, you are doing what is right for you. Be honest with where you are and think about the specific support you need from them. Focus on actions they can take or things they can change.
"My parents will be sad or disappointed."
It might be hard for your parents not to show that they are sad, upset or disappointed. They might be sad that you are suffering, but this does not mean they are upset with you. In fact, many parents are upset because the care about you. Parents often wonder if there was something they could have done differently that would have prevented you from struggling.
Maybe you feel that there are high expectations of you and you’re afraid that having mental health problems will be a disappointment. It’s important to ask where these expectations come from and whether the expectations are real (have you been told certain things are expected, or are you assuming they are expected) or reasonable. Thinking through and explaining your fears about their sadness or disappointment might help them to respond in a way that is more helpful for you.
"My parents will be angry or won't take me seriously."
Another concern many people have is that their parents will become angry or dismiss their feelings, both of which are painful experiences when you are already hurting. When dealing with a potential conflict, it is helpful to plan a meeting or to write a letter saying that you are worried about anger or dismissal. Explain to your parents that you are struggling and believe you would benefit from extra support. If they dismiss your concerns, tell them that you are trying to take care of yourself and would like to at least have a discussion with a professional. You can also support your desire for treatment with information and mental health screening results.
A lot of the time, reacting with anger or dismissal is about fear. Your parents might not know how to react or may have preconceived notions about what it means to get help for mental health concerns. Even if they do not know the best way to respond, it is important that you speak up for yourself, as we know the earlier a person gets help the better they are in the long-run. You may have to turn to other trusted adults or mental health resources if needed.
